Goals and Accountability for a Parent that has a Child with Autism

I stepped away from this for a year. Sorry.

I felt like a fraud on my own coaching website. I was still struggling with things. And to be frankly honest I am still struggling with things.

But I still have a goal. A big goal. And I want to share my journey.

I want to share as a way to hold my accountability. And hopefully show an example of what is possible as a parent of a child with autism. I know the struggles and self defeating moments intimately. I know the shredding self hate I have caused for myself. I know what it is like to feel that no one is hearing me screaming even though they are standing right next to me.

But what I want to share with you is this.

IMG_0484.JPG

I am a mom of a child with autism. He is nine years old, says a few words and is what most would classify as severe. But I don’t. He has saved me and continues to teach me every day. He is and continues to be amazing. And for the record this does not mean that I bask in his autism. I still try to raise him to be the best individual he can be.

I have chronic mono or epstein barr virus. If I stress myself too much it can take me down for a couple of weeks or longer. Earlier this spring it was about 2 months.

I want to change careers and start my own business. I have no idea how to do this, but I am going to learn. And as I used to tell my mom when growing up- stand back and watch.

Not sure if there is an eating disorder for eating your feelings and sugar addiction? If so I probably qualify. I am going to have some pretty good mastery to do here.

Anyway back to screaming. I have been waiting and wanting for someone to hear me. But that someone that needed to hear was me. There is a poem that reads ‘I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul’. I have now heard my own screaming. This is now my journey forward.

So first here are my goals. Laugh if you want but I am going to be blogging my way through this. My hope is not only a way to hold accountability as I reach my goals but maybe I can help someone else along the way. In the words of my favorite life coach, Brooke Castillo, show ‘what is possible’. And I want to show what is possible. I have a laundry list of things that have held me back. Only in my imagination though. Really the only thing that has held me back is me.

My goals:

  • In five years I want to have an annual income of $500K.

  • I want to pay off all of our debt.

  • I want to purchase a home on at least an acre of land.

  • I want to pay for my kids and some of my personal ‘angels’ to go on a trip to DisneyLand. To my personal angels. You know who you are and I cannot thank you enough.

  • I want to have a successful photography studio where I help individuals discover how beautiful they are and that they are worthy of everything this universe has to offer them.

  • I also want to photograph moms across the world that had kids with autism and share their story (more on that later).

  • I want to lose 50 pounds by this year.

  • I want to be able to afford my kids the education and programs they need.

  • Only work 3 days per week.

Yep, they are lofty. Maybe you think I am crazy, maybe you don’t. It is possible I won’t make and I don’t care. I want to try. Really try. And then there may be some that think I am sounding entitled by asking for that much money and I still don’t care. Money can be a way measure my impact and it can also make an impact. My life coach taught me that we should not feel shame about our dreams. I should not fear the what if’s. I have had several small experiences lately where I have put something out to the universe and it has magically and kindly been returned. Some as quick as in five minutes. So I am putting this out into the universe and gearing up for all the work to come.

Again I am tired of playing victim. I am tired of waiting for those that are ‘supposed’ to help me. I want this and I and going for it. It is time to dream big. It is time to believe hard. It is time to laser focus on what I really want and stop letting petty things drag me down.

I can do this. I know I am worth it. Pushing the publish button will be the first hard thing I have to do.

Because it makes it real.

To moving forward, Gina